Is Obama a Muslim?

Let me start off by saying that I don’t fully know the answer to this question, meaning I can’t speak for what is in another human’s heart, but what I have learned after living here, is what being a Muslim actually entails. I feel like the word “Muslim” is being thrown around without any consideration for its implications and how much goes into practicing this faith. Apart from believing that there is no God but Allah, Obama would have to sneak away 5 times a day for prayer. He should do this in either a mosque (kinda tough for him these days) or on a prayer mat facing Mecca. This isn’t a quick Hail Mary he can mumble under his breath. He would need to fully wash himself from head to toe before praying in the prescribed way including ritualistic movements. Oh and by the way, these prayers don’t count if there is a woman in sight. That secret service that is with him every waking second of every day is surely keeping one big secret! Then there’s the pork thing, and he’s not from the south so maybe I can give him that one. Although his past month near the famous North Carolina BBQ must have been torture! But I swear I saw him drinking water during the Presidential Debate. Wasn’t that in September during the holy month of Ramadan where all Muslims are required to fast from sunup to sundown including refraining from any liquids? Whether he’s President or not, he needs to get to packing for the Hajj. Once Muslims have the monetary means (given campaign contributions he definitely does) they need to make that one pilgrimage to Mecca. Forget about the fact that he has been going to the same church for 20 years or so, he could have just decided to lie about his faith way before this election. Come to think of it, all the cabbies in Abu Dhabi are very open about how the back Barack. Maybe he is one of them… If Obama is a Muslim, ignoring most of the pillars of Islam wouldn’t earn him any points with Allah and I recently found out that they do keep score. Plus, he doesn’t strike me as a man that would do anything half-assed.